Robert Pattinson Has Magical Hair

October 16, 2008 / Posted by:

Robert Pattinson is one of the stars in that “Twilight” movie. I only know this because a few crazy fangirls have sent me e-mails filled with CAPS and lots of exclamation points demanding that I spread the word about their new god. A god with magical hair. I’m not even sure what his face looks like because my eyes are hypnotized by the unicorn forest on top of his head.

Oh, how I want to frolic naked through his hair. I want to have a picnic lunch on top of his scalp before taking a nap on the top of one of his strands. I won’t have to worry about anything hurting me, because nothing gets past his wondrous jungle. He’s tried to cut it in the past, but the scissors break whenever they touch one of his precious hairs. And when he takes a shower, the water beads bounce off his mop. His hair will outlive us all.

Here’s a few more of the magical forest and its owner at the Los Angeles premiere of “Sex Drive” last night.

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