When Jenny Aniston and John Mayer were eating each other’s pussies, the paparazzi and media were always on him. But when they split up, they no longer gave a rhino’s dick about him. So John was feeling a little lonely and decided to remind everyone who he is by calling up Jenny. When Jenny saw his name come up on her caller ID as “Baby Daddy Option #23,” she immediately answered with “YES!” It doesn’t matter what John was going to ask, because she was going to say “yes” no matter what.
Well, that “yes” might have led to them hanging out in NYC. The National Enquirer reports that the two had “secret dates” in NYC before getting on a plane together yesterday. A source said they were all kissing and shit on the plane. Thankfully, there were plenty of barf bags on the plane.
The source said, “They were very lovey-dovey. They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly. John gave her a long, lingering kiss.”
Long and lingering? Okay, Jen wrote this shit herself. You know she writes romance novels with her as the star. I’m surprised the source didn’t say, “John got on knee, kissed her gorgeous feet, told her she was the most beautiful women in the world. Even more beautiful than that skank’s name who rhymes with Crangie Ho. And then he proposed and Jen said she’d think about it because she’s an ‘independent woman’ now. You hear that, Maddox? She doesn’t need a man!”
This works out for Jen and John. He stays relevant for another week. And she doesn’t look like a total cat lady with dry vagina while the Brangelina holy family flaunts their perfectness in the pages of W Magazine. Okay, she still does, but at least she’s trying! Maddox probably texted her, “NC TRY BTCH!!1!!”