If Beyonce Was A Boy

October 8, 2008 / Posted by:

Beyonce has a new song out and it’s called “If I Were A Boy.” I think the working title was “Tommy Girl’s Anthem.” The song is about if she was a boy, she’d drink beer, chase girls and turn off her phone so that everyone would think its broken. WTF?! She’s speaking from experience. That’s probably what she tells Solange, “Girl! My phone is broken. That’s why I didn’t get your call!

If Beyonce was a boy, would she whisper more, because she screams through a lot of this song. And if she was a boy, she would have the biggest power bottom bubble butt ever. Sorry, Gay Al.

I don’t mind the song so much. It’s borderline musical theater and good for nap times (sans the fucking screaming). I like it even more when I change the lyrics to: “If I were a girl, I’d play with my chichis…..”

And click here to listen to another Beyonce song called “Single Ladies.” I quit that bitch after 30 seconds. The sound of pots banging and cats wailing is not what I need right now.

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >