It’s a lovely feeling know that while I’m sipping on my Sanka and biting at my Pop Tart, Orenthal James Simpson is lying on a steel bed while his butt buddy makes french toast on the radiator using government bread and Splenda packets. Actually, O.J. is probably living better than us in jail. Anyway, in case you haven’t heard, O.J. was found guilty of doing criminal hood rat stuff. Specifically, he was convicted on 12 criminal counts, including kidnapping, armed robbery and burglary for robbing two sports memorabilia dealers at a Las Vegas hotel last year.
This shit is ironic, because he was found guilty 13 years to the day he was acquitted of murder. The Las Vegas jury handed down their verdict late last night. A judge will sentence him on December 5th. He faces life in the clink. Hopefully, Christmas will come early for us! Pull out the tree and wake up the kids!
You know O.J. is working on his next book for this shit: “If I Didn’t Do It.”
Below is the video of the verdict. The ho in the grey shirt at the beginning is really hot. You know she would rather be getting her booze on at TGI Friday’s than working this shit. I’m a little sad that the chick who read O.J.’s verdict pronounced his name correctly. I love the bitch that read his verdict in 1995 and prounounced his name “OrenJAL.” That’s pretty much the only thing I remember from that crap. Love her! I hope she’s having an extra shot of champagne with her Tang this morning with all of us. Party! Party!