Kelly Osbourne Is A Frequent Visitor To The Free Clinic

October 1, 2008 / Posted by:

In her younger days, Kelly Osbourne was a drunk druggie slut who passed her bare vagina around like she was Sienna Miller at a Married Men’s Convention. Kelly says those days are over, but she’s still worried about possibly catching STDs.

She tells the Daily Mail: “Alcohol and drugs impair your judgment. I know it’s because I was drunk that I had unprotected sex. I’m not the kind of person who talks about my sex life, but I’m not afraid to talk about contraception. I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested (for sexually transmitted infections) and most of the time I don’t even need to. I just go for peace of mind.

Correction: She won’t talk about her sex life unless there’s a reporter in front of her who will publish it in some kind of major paper.

It’s a good thing she gets tested several times a year. I mean, she did use to hang out with Parasite Hilton. I need to head down to the free clinic every time I stare too long at a picture of Wonky McValtrex.

And I’m sure most of those celebrity whores are forced to get checked several times a year. Shit. Wonky McValtrex probably has a lab in her own house. It’s a requirement if she wants to stay off the CDC’s “Most Wanted” list.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >