I Knew It!

October 1, 2008 / Posted by:

Amanda Woodward was arrested this past weekend for driving while being wasted and it looks like she was set up! TMZ reports that a nosy hag who goes by the name of Jill Ishkanian is the bitch who snitched to the police and the paparazzi about Heather Locklear.

And Jill isn’t just your normal dumb bitch snitch. Jill used to work for UsWeekly and was investigated by the FBI for allegedly hacking into the magazine’s computer database to find celebrities after she left the joint.

Jill had been following Heather around Montecito while she was doing boring shit like going to the supermarket. Jill called 911 when she witnessed Amanda get into her car. Jill told the cops Heather was boozing even though she wasn’t. DUH! Allison Parker is the one who loves the bottle.

Right after she reported Heather, Jill called the paparazzi to let them know what was about to go down. The rest is history…. Heather was arrested and later let go. The police say booze wasn’t involved, but they are testing to see what Heather was on. She was probably just HIGH on life and Jill hates that!

Basically, Jill is working for someone who can’t stand to see Heather happy! It makes her vagina scream, her eyeballs bulge and her mouth produce the word “CUNT.” You know who I’m talking about: Denise Richards! I can smell her pig’s shit all over this story. And to think that I was actually on her team and she goes on does this! Irv Richards is not going to be happy about it.

At least one good thing came out of this whole thing. We got this amazing mug shot of Heather looking forever glamorous. Seriously. This needs to be her next L’Oreal Paris ad. Because you’re worth it!

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