Why Is Chuck Bass The Only Dry One?

Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford look like they just got jizzed on by Ken Paves. It’s known that Paves cums pomade and weave glue. Chuck Bass is the only one who doesn’t look like he just washed his mop in Astroglide. Hmmm….what does this mean? Chuck Bass doesn’t sweat or maybe he likes it dry. Even if Chuck is into dry gulching, he’s still the hottest bitch of the three. The other two look like they don’t know their way around a no-no hole, but Chuck Bass looks like he wrote the book on the subject.

These three future-has-beens are on the cover of November’s Details and they talk about a bunch of boring shit. Click here to read the interview. Chace does bring up his struggle with gayface. He says: “Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn’t know what he’s doing … and Perez Hilton says I have ‘gayface.’ So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface.”

You know what’s the easiest way to cover up gayface? BUKKAKE FACIAL!

P.S. – If you have to ask yourself if you have douchebag hair, then you probably do. I’m talking to you, Adnan Ghalib.