Cruella de Stone asked a judge for permission to move her son Roan from his father’s home in Northern California to her house in Los Angeles. The judge rejected her ass and ordered that Roan must stay with his daddy. The judge also thinks Cruella is a batshit crazy mommy who needs shock treatment. Okay, he didn’t put it in those words exactly.
TMZ got a hold of some court documents that paint Cruella as a paranoid and overreactive bitch. Munchausen syndrome alert! Here’s some of the things the court papers state:
Cruella believed Roan had some kind of spinal condition, but didn’t give any evidence proving this. The judge wrote: “Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan.”
Cruella claims she put her career on hold in order to raise Roan. The judge wrote: “If Mother has, in fact, limited her career to make herself available for Roan, she has done little to make this evident to Roan, his school or this Court.” (A note from MK: I think Hollywood put her career on hold for her years ago.)
Cruella wanted to botox Roan’s feet because they fucking smelled bad. The judge wrote that the “mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child.”
The judge went on to write that Phil “A Komodo Dragon Bit Off My Toe” Bronstein is always looking out for Roan’s well-being and that Cruella is basically doing the opposite.
About the Botox, I’ve heard it helping with pit stank, but never foot odor. Hey, it’s just a little prick of Botox. It can’t hurt that bad. Cruella’s precious nose shouldn’t be subjected to Roan’s rank feetsies.
While she’s at it, Cruella should also Botox his face a little bit. It’s best to start them young. And then when she’s finished there, she can lipo off his baby fat and get him some veneers. You know how unsightly some kids’ teeth can be. Better yet, just send him to Dr. 90210 for a full makeover and call it a day. Being a mother is so hard!