I Want My Money Back!

September 25, 2008 / Posted by:

Master douche David Blaine’s latest “stunt” has proven to be a complete waste of everyone’s precious time. David announced that he would hang upside down in NYC’s Central Park for 60 hours. What he failed to mention was that in that 60 hour period, he would stand on his feet several times during the day to be checked out. David would also be lowered down so that he could talk to the bitches who came to witness his douchebaggery for themselves. So basically, he didn’t hang upside down for 60 hours. Xtina’s husband, Bat Boy, is offended! He can hang by his feet longer than that shit.

Last night, David’s 60 hours were up and he was supposed to “death dive” into the ground. Guess what? He didn’t. I know. As soon as you pick yourself up off the ground, continue reading. David’s douche dive was something you can see at any community theater production of “Peter Pan.” David jumped from the platform while attached to some stupid wires and then he stopped about halfway down. David just hung there for a few seconds and then was whisked off into the night. Unfortunately, he wasn’t whisked off of the planet.

This Droopy Dog motherfucker is the fakest faker whoever faked. I know none of us paid to see this shit, but we did waste our time by reading about it on the Internet and/or watching it on TV. For that, David owes us! I want cold hard cash or a front-row seat to his “Dive of Death” redo over the Grand Canyon….without wires…..and with a pack of hungry wolves waiting at the bottom.

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