Gayken Comes Out: The Morning After

September 24, 2008 / Posted by:

I know you’re still reeling from the fact that Clay Gayken officially loves the peen. I’m sure Kathy Griffin is sobbing in her closet, considering early retirement. Don’t do that, Kathy. Remember. You’ll always have Ryan Gaycrest.

Oh and in related news, I’m gay too. I know. Too many gay shockers for a 24-period.

This morning, People released a few experts from Clay’s totally gay interview and the born-again Christian talks about why he decided to shock the world by unveiling the best kept secret in Hollywood.

On why he decided to come clean:
It was the first decision I made as a father. I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn’t raised that way, and I’m not going to raise a child to do that.

On how he thinks his mom-jeans-wearing fans are going to handle the news:
Whether it be having a child out of wedlock, or whether it be simply being a homosexual, it’s going to be a lot. I’ve never intended to lie to anybody at all. … But if they leave, I don’t want them to leave hating me.

On telling his mommy four years ago:
It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don’t know why I started thinking about it … I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out. She started crying. She was obviously somewhat stunned. But she was very supportive and very comforting. She still struggles with things quite a bit, but she’s come a long way.”

On raising his son Parker Foster Aiken:
I have no idea if he’ll be gay or straight. It’s not something I’ll have anything to do with, or that he’ll have anything to do with. It’s already probably up inside the code there … No matter what the situation you’re in, if you’re raised in a loving environment, that’s the most important thing.

Did he just call himself a “homosexual“? I thought my frigid aunt was the only one who called the gays that. She also refers to any of my boyfriends as my “special friend.” And is Gayken’s mommy living in the basement with Solange? She was stunned to find out he’s a sausage worshiper? I mean. If your name is Clay Aiken, you might be gay.

Also, I’ve been wondering what the die-hard Claymates think of all of this. I haven’t found shit! This site, which is homebase for Claymates in Georgia, has yet to comment on it. I keep refreshing like crazy. Thankfully they have amazingly hot pictures of their idol to entertain me with. Seriously. Look at these pictures. High-art! That Clay Gayken doll is going to haunt my gay dreams.

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