Thank You, Christina DeRosa

And I thought the Emmy Awards was a Simply Sleep enema. Well, the fashion was even more boring and predictable. It was one generic gown after the other. Thankfully, some broad named Christina DeRosa won a contest from Subway Sandwiches and got to go to the Emmys. No. I don’t know how she got in, but I’m glad she did. I’m also glad that when she got tangled up in the paper shades in her apartment, she decided to make it part of her gorgeous ensemble. The woman in back of her obviously agrees.

I’ve already named international supermodel Phoebe Price as the best dressed at the Emmys. That goes without saying. Christina DeRosa is a close second. This is how you do it. She’s perfection from her hair to her shoes. I think she transported back to the mid-80s to get her updo done at the JcPenney salon while Lil’ Suzy blasted in the background. I can smell the mixture of AquaNet and burnt L.A. Looks gel from here. That’s the kind of hair you lose your virginity in after prom. She also gets a gold star for making a handbag out of folded coffee filters. Bitch is so resourceful!

And it was nice of Tommy Girl to lend her a pair of shoes from his personal collection.

I also threw in some pictures of JLove and her creepy boyfriend, because she obviously got her hair done at the same joint as Christina, but ran off in the middle of it. Oh and everyone’s favorite goth club grown-ups, Vyxsin and Kynt from the “Amazing Race,” were also at the Emmys. And you know Tommy Girl is ordering Kynt’s shoes in every color right now.