Guess Who’s Back? (UPDATE)

UPDATE: It looks like someone has decided Latarian needed to make a comeback. Reader Tracy wrote to tell me that the story is in none of the local papers or on local news stations.checked to see. Whoever put this clip together used old footage from the first time Latarian stole his grandmother’s car and presented it as though he struck again. As far as I know, Latarian did not steal his grandma’s SUV again. It was just a trick! I was bamboozled!

If Latarian is still doing hood rat stuff, he’s doing it on the down low. I’m sorry, Latarian! I’m sure he’ll pistol whip me later.

———————————————

Latarian Milton, the 7-year-old kid who stole his memaw’s car last April to do “hood rat stuff,” has struck again! Struck four more times to be exact.

Latarian stole the keys to his grandma’s 2006 Durgano AGAIN! How the hell is she just leaving her keys out in the open like that?! She needs to hide that shit under a fruit bowl or somewhere else he will never look.

After Latarian stole the car, he drove down the street, turned into Costco, hit two parked cars, got back onto the street and hit two more parked cars before pulling into the Wal-Mart parking lot. He finally hit a sign and then drove into a ditch. His grandmother’s Durango is totaled and Latarian doesn’t give a fuck!

We all know why he want to Wal-Mart. For the chicken wings!

When asked why he stole his grandmother’s SUV again, Latarian said, “Cause I wanted to do it. My friend was in the car with me. I took it on a high-speed chase!” And what does he think about the people whose cars he hit? “I think nothing about them!”

The reporter is the most patient and professional woman in the business. I would have knocked those ice trays out of his hands and then bit at my own hands to stop from shaking him. Or I would have laughed hysterically and then cried myself into a little ball on the floor.

Judge Judy is to blame for all of this! She was supposed to have him on her show and then she canceled it at the last minute. She could have saved Latarian!

Thanks Jenn