It looks like it’s going to be another dog caca-filled week here on Dlisted. That’s pretty appropriate, actually. Anyfeces, a judge in Los Angeles has evicted Dane Cook from his apartment, because he won’t pick up after his dog’s shitty ass even though his neighbor’s filed several complaints.
Dane is appealing the judge’s decision and claims that if he leaves that apartment, he will suffer emotional distress and his career will tank. You see, Dane said he only lives there, because John Belushi and Steve Martin used to live in the same building. Dane states in the documents, “I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration.”
Umm….Dane’s career is headed for the dog shit bin regardless if he lives in that apartment or not.
Dane went on to spew, “In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”
If he’s allowed to stay, Dane will pay $40,000 to the owner of the apartment building for doggy poop damages.
I see what he’s doing here. The judge better see through this bitch’s fuckery and charge him with being a grade A asshat. That shit is punishable by life in a prison cell filled with dog diarrhea. Dane probably didn’t even write that crap himself.
And I don’t blame his dog for having the mega shits. Anybody would get a bad case of the runs from being around Dane that much.