Alex Rodriguez’s divorce from the she-hulk known as Cynthia Rodriguez has been finalized. Yeah, just like that. That shit was totally anti-climactic.
Their boring ass lawyers issued this statement to People: “Cynthia and Alex Rodriguez have amicably resolved their dissolution of marriage proceedings. They deliberately engaged in a private negotiation. During the negotiations and resolution all decisions were made with the best interests of their children as the paramount concern.”
The terms of the settlement were not released. When C-Rod filed for divorce, she stated she wanted a cut of his earnings and ownership of their $12 million mansion in Florida.
These people are a disgrace! It started out pretty scandalous. A-Rod was accused of bumping roided-up butt coochies with Vadge and C-Rod blamed him for having an “affair of the heart.” Then they sort of just went away and did their own thing. Zzzzz! They need to get remarried just so they can divorce the correct way! I want more name-calling, bitch slapping and sex tapes.
What’s the opposite of Escandalo? A-Rod and C-Rod’s divorce.