The Oldest Explanation In The Druggie Playbook

September 19, 2008 / Posted by:

Ryan O’Neal’s lawyer tells People that the meth found in his Malibu home does not belong to him. In case you were in a meth hole yourself, Ryan and his son were arrested on Wednesday after cops found meth in their house.

Ryan’s lawyer said: “Those were not Ryan’s drugs, he doesn’t use drugs, and has nothing to do with them. It’s a dangerous assumption for deputies to have arrested Ryan just because he was in proximity to the drugs. This situation is very upsetting to Ryan because he’s just trying to lead his life quietly. I have full confidence that Ryan will be vindicated.

He wouldn’t say how the meth got into Ryan’s bedroom, but it’s obvious that he’s going to blame that shit on his meth-faced son.

It’s also obvious that Ryan is a fan of “Cops.” “It’s not mine” has always been my favorite explanation from a crackhead on the show. The bitch could have a bag of heroin hanging out of their asshole and they would still say “I don’t know how that got there! I did use a public bathroom earlier. Maybe I sat on it!

Instead of blaming his son, Ryan should just say the evil drug trolls broke into his house and planted that shit. Wait. Was Mary-Kate Olsen in Malibu recently?

Here’s a few pictures of Farrah Fawcett and REDmond O’Neal outside of Ryan’s house the other day. A source told People that Farrah was sleeping in the house when Ryan and her son were arrested. So Jill Munroe was sleeping in a drug den?! What is Charlie going to say about this?

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