When JLo Speaks, Bullshit Comes Out

September 18, 2008 / Posted by:

Triathlon champion and injured foot faker JLo tells People that she spends every free moment with her beloved Dragon Tales Twins. JLo said that she recently hired a nanny, so that she can have a little time to herself. HA!

She said: “I did it for a long time but we started using a nanny a few weeks ago. Most days I get up early with them. Then when the nanny comes, I can take a shower and give them their breakfast. She’s there to help me get things done.” JLo only leaves them to go to work. “I try to spend every free moment with the babies.”

It must be wonderful to be JLo. You lay around on your rabbit comforter, taking in the sweet scent from $100 candles while telling a bunch of bullshit lies as though it was the truth.

JLo went on to talk about the magical mornings she spends with her newborns: “When they see you and have that big smile on their face – I live for that. And when I put them to bed at night and they melt in your arms. I give them a bottle and wind it down. I say, ‘It’s time for beddy-bye.’ I hold them and sing a little song. By the time you know it, they are asleep.”

This quote came right out of a Disney movie, right? In her mind, JLo is fucking Donna Reed. She probably has a writer on staff who feeds her all of these nauseating quotes.

Below is JLo shopping in St. Tropez yesterday. Before you say anything, shopping is not considered “free time” to JLo! It’s part of the job description of a self-centered, delusional, Hollywood hobag!

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