Yesterday, JLo finished the Malibu Triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes, then got on a plane, hooked up Skeletor to an IV and headed for NYC. JLo threw her husband a 40th birthday party at the Bowery Hotel. Yes, 40. Four. Zero. I mean, they say 40 and we say 340. Mutant vampires zombies live a long time.
Guests included that hag Leah Remini, Dita Von Teese, Kimora, Dijmon Honsou, Brooke Shields, Allegra and Donatella Versace. Donatella and Skeletor feed from the same blood bank, so they’re really close friends.
Heidi Klum was reportedly invited to the party, but refused to show up after JLo pulled out from judging “Project Runway.” As you know, JLo’s rep said she injured her fugly foot and wanted to stay off of it so that she could compete in the triathlon.
A source told MSNBC’s The Scoop that JLo is lie-telling about the foot shit. They said that JLo was in talks to star in a film for The Weinstein Company, who also produce PR. When JLo found out she didn’t get the role, she got upset and pulled out as a judge. Who cares why she pulled out! We should be grateful that we have been spared! I’d take Tim Gunn over JLo any day. Fuck, I’d take a caca sandwich over JLo.
Here’s some pictures from Skeletor’s birthday party last night. And just for shits, I’ve also added some pictures of JLo getting hit by a wave during the triathlon. Her trainer had to pull her drowning ass out of the water. HAHAHAHAHA!