Charity Starts At Home

Brit Brit and her family have donated to the Promises Foundation in L.A. an autographed portrait painted out of automatic transmission fluid and Pennzoil 30W motor oil. Joking. It’s an oil painting done by Daniel Maltzman. How sweet, bitches couldn’t write a check?!

The auction started out at $10,000 on eBay, so bid with confidence! If you got the coins to buy this piece of American history, get your ass to eBay. Winning bid will also receive choices of a case of WD-40, a box of 12-gauge shot gun shells and/or a year supply of beer nuts.

Pictured above is Brit Brit standing next to the glamour shot. The painting includes a letter of authenticity from Daddy Spears (who more than likely will be promoting in the near future, a boxing match between himself and Adnan), which states: “I hereby verify that the portrait of my daughter, Britney, has been in our home since it was completed by the Daniel Maltzman Studio.”

What?! Bitch, you need some fucking glasses!

Next thing you know she’ll be signing pictures of Vladimir Putin and passing them off as herself and selling them on eBay for $50,000. If the artist really wanted to make the picture more convincing, he should have painted a bag of Cheetos or a Frapp in her hand, hell even a picture of her dropping a baby out of her arms. Something!

You know what, I’m gonna start taking the pictures out of frames at Wal-Mart and signing them and selling them as myself on eBay. Bidding starts at $1.00 with a low reserve.

P.S. – Is it just me or does it look like a crow is pecking at her eye in the painting? She probably has a few Cheetos crumbs in there and he’s getting himself a little snack.