The Rah-Rah Mommy

33-year-old Wendy Brown of Green Bay, Wisconsin never graduated high school, so she somehow got the harebrained idea that she would get back the memories she never had by enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter. This is what happens when a crazy bitch falls asleep while watching “Never Been Kissed.” Josie Grossy is to blame.

Josie…I mean…Wendy used her daughter’s ID to enroll in school and join the cheerleading squad. Before school started, Wendy showed up to cheerleading practices, bought a uniform, got her own locker and even went to a party at the coach’s house. Give me a F-A-K-E-O-L-D-C-R-A-Z-Y-B-I-T-C-H! What’s that spell?

A high school employee said that Wendy was a little shy and cried when talking about having to move from her school in Nevada. The employee said Wendy looked a little older than your average student, but she acted like a regular 15-year-old.

School officials started to get a little suspicious when Wendy stopped showing up to classes after the first day of school. The principal found out that Wendy’s daughter was registered at a school in Nevada. When the principal called Wendy’s mother, she said she has custody of the 15-year-old girl. Wendy’s mom also said she has a history of stealing other bitch’s identies.

Wendy’s high school dreams were crushed when she was arrested for felony identity theft. Also, the check for $134.50 that Wendy used to buy her cheerloading (typo, but it says) uniform bounced.

Her bond was set at $8,000. She faces a $10,000 fine and six years in the chokey if convicted.

I don’t blame Wendy for wanting to go back in time. Sometimes I wish I was back in grade school where life was easy. The most stressful thing was trying to dig for clay in the sandbox. Every other kid seemed to find clay except me. Sad.

And all those bitches who came in contact with Wendy need to go and get their eyeballs worked on. What in Andrea Zuckerman hell were these people looking at? In what world does a 15-year-old look like a middle-aged night shift clerk at Kum & Go?!

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