I Love John Malkovich

The trailer for John Malkovich’s new movie “Changeling” is here! I always read it as “Chitterling” for some reason. I’ve been all about John M. ever since “Dangerous Liasons,” so I try and see everything he’s in. I mean, I even sat through that horrific piece of trash called “Mary Reilly.” Julia Robert’s accent should have been executed. Anyway, that’s how much I love John. I would drink his bathwater like it was Pineapple Kool-Aid with a splash of vodka.

Oh and that woman who rules the heavens and earth is also in it. You know, that woman who lives in the fancy French shoe with her ten million kids. Yeah, she’s in it.

The plot is about some chick in the 1920s whose kid gets lost or kidnapped or something. Another kid gets returned to her ass, but she swears it’s not her son. She gets thrown in the loony bin and the raw emotion comes out. Basically, it’s like the “The Deep End of the Ocean” minus the crazy house.

And I’m sure this kind of thing happens to St. Angie only a monthly basis. Whenever Shiloh comes to visit from her ivory tower, St. Angie always says, “This isn’t Shiloh.” Brad has to pat her on the head and say, “Yes, it is.”

Expect St. Angelina to get nominated in every single category at the Oscars for this performance. If they don’t nominate her, God will cancel the Oscars.