Raffey Gets Five

September 10, 2008 / Posted by:

Anne Hathaway’s ex-beard, Raffey Folliero, was sentenced to 5 years in the chokey today for messing with God. Raffey pleaded guilty to all 14 counts against him for pretending to work for the Vatican and stealing around $6 million. During his plea, Raffey told the court, “I know what I did was wrong.

What a moron. I would’ve said, “It wasn’t me. It was Zach Braff.” DUH.

TMZ reports that Raffey also asked the judge to move him from his holding cell because of “unspecified inmate issues.”

Inmate issues?! Does it burn when he pisses?

It sounds to me like Raffey might be sharing a cell with AntonioI like beating men over the head with my 8-inch sausageVasquez.

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