Big Mac Lover

September 10, 2008 / Posted by:

Some bitches are addicted to normal shit like crack, booze, sex and shopping. Don Gorske of Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin is addicted to eating Big Macs from McDonald’s. He’s reaaaaaaallly lovin’ it. He’s the Amy Wino of McDonald’s and Ronald McDonald is his dealer.

Don’s obsession for the heart attacks in a box began on May 17, 1972 and he’s still at it. Last month, Don gobbled Big Mac #23,000.

I weep for his bowels. I also weep for his toilet. His toilet must see some fucked up shit. Literally.

Thanks to his OCD, Don keeps receipts of every Big Mac he has ever eaten in a box. He eats two Big Macs and two parfaits a day. In the past 36 years, he’s missed his daily Big Mac only eight times because of work emergencies and other shit like that. In 1982, his local McDonald’s closed because of a snow storm. Don now keeps a few frozen Big Macs in his freezer just in case.

Despite his diet of shit food, Don claims he’s healthy. He’s 6’2″ and weighs 185 pounds. He walks about 16 kilometers a day.

Don said: “Sometimes people call me a freak but it doesn’t bother me. I just say respect people as they are. I just want to make sure people understand I’m not going to change.”

Don wrote a book on his obsession and was also featured in the documentary “Super Size Me.”

I thought I had a fucking problem with eating a bunch of crap on a daily basis. This dude makes my diet look like Vadge’s. I mean, how the fuck is he still functioning? How has his stomach not fallen out of his body or his heart not gone on strike?! McCoronary!

As soon as I read this story, I immediately wondered if Don’s obsession for Big Macs goes beyond just eating them. Do you think he sticks his pickle between their two buns and gives them an extra shot of mayo? You know he does.

And thanks to Don, I think we found Posh’s new “it” ‘do. The bowl-mullet! Bowllet!

Thanks Kate

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