Reader Megan directed me towards this MySpace page which apparently belongs to Maury Povich’s most infamous guest of all-time, Victoria! Victoria’s Myspace (which is marked private) announces to the world that she gave birth to a baby named Javen Angel on September 4th. If Javen is ever cold and needs a blanket, “dat’s aight cuz she hazit.” If you have no fucking clue what I’m going on about, then just skip this shit and watch the video above. You won’t be disappointed.
Victoria went on Maury this past May to announce that she was knocked up! She was 15 when she first went on Maury, but she’s 18 now. Victoria said she wouldn’t “still” anything and will stay in school so she can get a job and support her baby.
I think it’s time for Victoria to return to Maury! I need new amazing quotes. I mean, who else could come up with shit like: “I’m ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez ‘n’ if I can’t afford it, I guess I’m ginna still it!” or “If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo’!”
Visit Victoria’s MySpace to see a picture of her baby which I’m sure all us tax payers are helping to support. I’m joking! Victoria doesn’t need our help because “shez gottit like dat.”