Put It Away, Chestica

September 8, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Jessica Simpson and her titty balls made their Grand Ole Opry debut on Saturday night and some of the audience members were not pleased with the fact that her rack was out in full display.

One bitch told People: “I think she should have put some clothes on.” I think she should have put a muzzle on.

Another ho also complained about Chestica’s chest: “I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately.“ Crystal Shawanda?! I have no idea who that chick is, but she’s already my favorite country star of all time. I think the angels gave her that name.

After watching her “performance,” I’m more offended by her strained frog warble than what she’s wearing. She sounds like a raccoon getting a 5-finger anal exam.

Jessica belongs on a pick-up truck dashboard, not on the stage of the Grand Ole’ Opry.

She summed it up herself by saying: “I can’t believe I am here!” Somewhere in heaven, Hank Williams is screaming, “ME NEITHER!”

Tags: Jessica Simpson, Truly Awful Music

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