MTV’s VMAs turned into the Cheeto Hillbilly Awards last night after Brit Brit won 3 of those little Moonmen awards. Brit Brit won Best Female Video, Pop Video and Video of the Year for the thrown-together $2 video for “Piece of Me.”
Yes, that shit was rigged. I mean, if that shit was the best video of the year, what was the fucking worse? MTV sucked on Brit Brit’s buttery flapjacks last night as a “thank you” for last year’s epic disaster. It’s also they’re way of telling us “See, everyone! Brit Brit is right again in the brains.”
Brit Brit did manage to get through the night without freaking out. Which kind of sucked for us. Every acceptance speech she gave was the same. She thanked “God, mah boys and her fans.” She forgot to thank the bitches who really matter: Chester Cheetah, the good people at Starbucks, the paparazzi and Eli Lilly. They will never forgive her.
Here’s Our Forever Lady of Cheetos wearing a couple of dresses from the closet of a retired Las Vegas showgirl at the VMAs last night.