Gary Coleman Hit A Bitch

September 7, 2008 / Posted by:

Gary Coleman, his giant wife (yes, they are still together), and his bodyguard — WAIT! Gary Coleman needs a bodyguard? Is he paying him in animal crackers? I double checked and his bodyguard is not Todd Bridges. I don’t know why he needs to hire a bodyguard when his wife can pretty much defend his ass with her wild horse teeth.

I digress.

Gary and his hos were leaving a bowling alley in Payson, Utah on Friday night when 24-year-old Colt Rushton got in his business and tried to get a picture. When Gary turned him down, Colt got even more aggressive and took a few pictures anyway. That’s when the little angry man got into his vehicle, started to leave and ended up hitting Colt and another car. I’ve been hit by a Big Wheel before, it’s more painful than it seems.

Colt has a totally different side of the story. He claims that Gary’s scary giant wife grabbed his cell phone and when he tried to get it back, Gary started punching at him before getting into his truck and running him over.

Colt is not a quick thinker. Everybody knows that the best way to block punches from Gary Coleman is to hold his head while he’s swinging. Duh.

Colt was taken to the hospital, treated and released. Hopefully, the nurses gave him a special hug for getting his ass beaten by Gary Coleman. That can’t be good on the ego.

Police are currently investigating this shit. No arrests have been made, but they said booze might have played a part. That goes without saying. Gary really shouldn’t have had that extra wine spritzer.


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