Beauty And The Fucking Beast

September 6, 2008 / Posted by:

Evan Rachel Wood must have a thing for washed up fugly ass hatchetfaces. What in the wad of hot Play-Doh hell is going on with Mickey Rourke’s face?! His mug must have caught fire and someone tried to put it out with an ice pick. I swear, I’m convinced his face was a gift from Lucifer.

Here’s Beauty and the Beast at the premiere of “The Wrestler.” at The Venice Film Festival thingee last night. Looks like the poor bastard just spent all afternoon on the pot trying to push out a growling beast of a turd. People just don’t get all sweaty and glistening like that for nothing.

If I was an interviewer on the red carpet, I would ask her, “What’s it like to kiss your Frankenstein Pepaw?” She would reply, “It’s not so bad, It’s a lot better than sucking face with your older goth sister. Mickey has experience.

That being said, I would NOT hit it. Okay, maybe I would. But only the tip and only from the back!

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