“Christian the Lion,” the YouTube video that made many cold-hard bitches melt into a puddle of tears at their desks, is coming to a movie theater near you! The video tells the story of two groovy gays who bought a lion from Harrod’s in London in 1969. The gays raised Christian, but he became too big, so they had no choice but to release him into the wild. A year later, they reunite with him in Africa. They all hug and kiss while Whitney Houston belts in the background. Personally, I was waiting for Christian to eat one of their asses.
Sony Pictures is currently in negotations to buy the rights to the dudes’ 1972 book “A Lion Called Christian.” Sharon Stone’s cougar vagina is an obvious choice to play young Christian. Jocelyn Wildenstein can play older Christian. Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari can reunite to play the groovy gays.
Now if Sony can just buy the rights to Spaghetti Cat’s life story, they’ll have two animal hit movies on their hands.