Wino Loves Jack

Some bitches ask for stupid shit like smelly candles and caviar on their riders, but not the Crackie of Camden. She’s a simple girl. She just asks for 48 bottles of Jack Daniel’s. That’s all.

Amy Wino is “supposed” to perform at the Bestival Festival this weekend and organizers are worried that she’s not going to show. A source told The Sun: “It’s common for artists to make requests for food and beverages before they arrive. But organisers have heard Miss Winehouse has ordered in an extremely large amount of Jack Daniel’s, in fact, a ridiculous amount that she and her team could not possibly consume during their short stay. With Amy’s record this can mean failure to perform or giving a shambolic performance. Whiskey is better than heroin — but not 48 bottles of the stuff.”

Why are they being such squares?! Jack is the only thing that quenches her thirst. I mean, it’s the only liquid that can lubricate her beautiful crackie angel voice. Do they want her to dehydrate?! Water just doesn’t, for lack of a better phrase, get you “shit-faced-drunk” the same way Jack does!

And I laugh in the face of the bitch who said Wino can’t “possibly consume” that much Jack during her stay. She eats 48 bottles of Jack for breakfast!

Thanks Ursa