ANTM: Ty Ty Will Always Be Crazy

September 4, 2008 / Posted by:

Ty Ty’s insanity was back in full force on the season premiere of “America’s Next Top NOT-Model” last night. She really gets crazier and crazier each season. Next season will have to take place in a mental hospital.

The episode started on what looked like the used set of a cheap Sci-Fi porn movie. This is what happens when Ty Ty spends her Saturday mornings watching old cartoons. It was some “The Jetsons gone drag” shit! And I really hope Miss Jay gave that wig back to the “Village of the Damned” kid he stole it from.

Ty Ty’s grand entrance was anything but. She came out of a silver-painted fridge box as “Tyrabot” and played the part of a “robot” for way too long. Suri Cruise rated Ty Ty’s performance an F! When Ty Ty was finished with her fuckery, she dragged her two wet nellies to the judges table where we met the never-gonna-be models. I’m just going to talk about my favorite bitches so far.

Annaleigh – This crazy bitch confessed that she was sold to a Saudi prince! She smiled and laughed while telling the story. That bitch should hide under Ty Ty’s wig instead of standing there laughing. They are seriously coming for her ass!

Clark – This dumbass is one of my favorites, because I hate her so much. HATE HER. I like feeling extreme rage inside. She makes me want to punch a jelly donut and then rub its sugary guts all over her smug face!

Elina – She’s the vegan bi-sexual who will no doubt be forced to pose with fur and dead animals. You know it’s coming. I love her, because she scares me. She probably spends her nights eating her own hair while listening to The Cure. I don’t think I’m ready to see her make out with Clark. I hope she bites Clark’s teeth out.

Isis – Yes, she’s the tranny! Of course, bitches started hating on her ass as soon as they found out. But she rose from the tranny ashes and delivered one of the best pictures (which isn’t saying much). She’s also coming across as the most normal ho in the house.

Joslyn – She’s southern. That’s all I need to say.

Marjorie – It’s Juno! Juno without the baby in her belly. Marjorie is probably the most “modely” girl in the house. Expect her to go far and “find her inner confidence.” I just hope they don’t eff up her hair!

McKey – This chick fit right in with the sci-fi theme. I was expecting her to zap Ty Ty with her eyes. She’s straight out of X-Men. And she’s a female boxer. A really weird female boxer. I’m waiting to find out that her “boyfriend” has been living in her basement against his will for the last couple of years.

Sheena – The Asian fly girl from Harlem! I think she really auditioned for “Flavor of Love” but her picture ended up on Ty Ty’s desk instead. I can’t wait for her to really unleash her “Kimoraness” on one of those annoying bitches. And I’m hoping it’s Clark.

Below are pictures of my favorites whores from yet another totally random photoshoot. How the fuck are you supposed to pose “nuclear weaponey.” Visit Top Model LiveJournal to see the rest.

Right now I’ll say that Marjorie, Isis and Ty Ty will be final 3. Yes, Ty Ty. I think this is the year she’s finally going to throw herself in the competition for no reason.

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