Well, Where’s The Video?

Josh Hartnett did fuckey fuckey times with some chick in the library of his London hotel and it was all caught on security camera. That’s what the Mirror claims anyway. Hotel staff watched as a drunken Josh and his chick stumbled into the library, closed off the curtains and started bumping nasties.

A source said, “Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place – the library included. This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh’s X-rated moves.”

After Josh and his lady finished filling the library with sex smells, a hotel staffer told him to take his personal shit elsewhere in the future.

I think it’s the hotel’s duty to release the footage to the public. You know, as a warning to whores who might want to do it in a hotel library. And I want close-ups of Hartnett’s peen. I have a feeling it’s floppy, skinny and just as boring as him. Actually, maybe I don’t want to see Hartnett’s footage. There’s nothing worse than boring peen.

And I feel sorry for the poor bitch who strolled into the library after Josh finished, grabbed a copy of “War and Peace” and found a chunky glob of Hartnett smegma all over it.