All of my favorite crackheads are falling apart! First, I learn that the Crackie of Camden supposedly overdosed twice this year! And now I read that Dreamboat Doherty, the crackhead of all crackheads, collapsed in Austria this past Thursday.
The Sun reports that Dreamy was set to perform at the premiere of one his home movies at a porn theater in Graz when he passed out. Earlier, Dreamy went on a drug bender at his promoter’s house. Thankfully, Dreamy was revived. They probably just threw soapy water on him. You know how much he hates soap. He refused to go to the hospital for obvious reasons. He was able to perform…four hours later.
People are so DRAMATIC! He didn’t pass out. He was just taking a little nap. A crack nap. Dreamy waz tiwered. Sleepy crackhead. Besides, if Dreamy “collapsed,” I would’ve passed out too. We’re soulmates, so I feel his pain. Wait. Come to think of it. I did fall on my ass while buying Crisco and laxatives (don’t ask) at Rite-Aid on Thursday. I blamed it on the espresso and Red Bull I had earlier in the day.