September 2, 2008 / Posted by:

It’s a new week, which means 100 new baby announcements. Today comes the news of 3 new babies who will join the ever-growing army of infants that will soon take over the world. First up is Tiger Woods and his hot trophy wife.

Tiger (rarr) confirmed on his website that Elin Nordegren is knocked up with their second child. He writes, “I have some wonderful news to report. Sam is going to be a big sister. Elin is feeling great and we are both thrilled. While my injury has disappointing and frustrating, it has allowed me to spend a lot of time watching Sam grow. I can’t begin to tell you how rewarding it is being a dad and spending time with her and Elin. The injury has been a blessing and a disappointment.” I guess Tiger effed up his knee or some shit.

Congrats to Elin! One more child means more child support! Elin is no Camille Grammer, but she’s getting there. She’s a gold digger to watch.

Next up is the walking leather bag known as Lizzie Grubman. She’s the pr bitch who ran over a bunch of poor hos outside of a club a few years ago. Well, Page Six reports that she’s having twins! Lizzie and her husband already have 1 kid. Twins! Yeah, because one child just isn’t enough anymore. Lizzie is going to pop out a bottle peroxide and a mini-tanning bed. Seriously.

That’s all the baby announcements I have for you now. I’m sure there will be a dozen more tomorrow. In related news, I’m not knocked up yet. I’m working on it. When the baby army finally takes over the world, I’d like to have a member of my family a part of it. You know, to continue my trashy family’s legacy.

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