Deep Fried Depp

August 30, 2008 / Posted by:

I’ve always wondered why musicians sweat so much. I mean, all they have to do is sing. What did the Deppster do, douche himself with baby oil before he came out? He looks like somebody grabbed his ass by the ankles and gave him a swirly in the toilet.

And while we’re on the subject of crappy garage bands, we must have gone back in time. It feels like the grimy 90’s all over again. I thought grunge went out when Kurt punched his time card early. Should Johnny have to keep looking over his shoulder for Courtney Love lurking in the shadows waiting to plunge a syringe in his forearm?

Here’s Johnny’s old high school rock band The Kids at a benefit concert in Pompano Beach, Florida last night.

That’s being said, I’d hit that shit and slip ‘n slide all around his Crisco covered chest. No lube required! And I’d suck up the rest of his greasy sweat with my no-no hole. Dyson ain’t got shit on me.

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