The Dumb Duffs

August 28, 2008 / Posted by:

The Lohans have a little competition for the “dumbest dysfunctional family in the world” award. Yesterday, Hilary Duff’s mother called a court hearing to ask her future ex-husband for $25,000 to throw a 21st birthday party for Hilary. $25k?! Just give her a couple of sugar cubes and carrots! That will make her neigh in delight.

Susan Duff took the stand and said $25k is also what they paid for Haylie’s 21st birthday party two years ago. Susan also needs the money to buy Hilary a birthday pressie. Cheap bitch! Make her a fucking card! Susan, just print this out, sign your name at the bottom and give it to Hilary.

The $10k Bob Duff currently pays Susan isn’t enough to cover bills, so it’s certainly not enough to pay for Hilary’s stupid party. Susan said that Hilary feels emotionally abandoned by her daddy and deserves “to have some kind of recognition for a young life well-lived.” Susan went on to say that Bob is a millionaire and he has the money.

The judge ordered Bob to pay $12,500 to Susan for Hilary’s lame dog and pony birthday show. The judge didn’t stop there! He also threw Bob in the slammer for 10 days for selling assets not approved by the court. He must also pay back the $367,537 he earned from selling the stocks.

While Bob was led out of the court room in handcuffs, Susan said, “This isn’t what I wanted.

Why can’t Hilary pay for her own dumb party?! When I turned 21, I had to pay for that shit myself! It was held at the luxurious Olive Garden because they used to give you a free chocolate cake at the end of your delicious meal! Not just a piece of chocolate cake either. A whole cake! For free! And they sang a beautiful and memorable song to me. This isn’t the same song they serenaded me with, but it’s just as crappy. Clip below:

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