DMX is really fucking charming. In court yesterday, the judge denied his bond and set his next court date for October 3rd. To which DMX responded, “I ain’t coming back on October 3rd!” Riddle me this. Isn’t he in handcuffs and being held in a room with bars on the windows?
As DMX shuffled off, Judge Mr. Clean told him “I’ve never heard the F word before, so it’s okay.” Instead of leaving it at that, the judge told DMX’s lawyer to let his client know that “I‘ve heard the F word before.” DMX’s lawyer just kind of laughed like he just got a shot of helium in his ass.
I need to hang out in more court rooms. It’s like a fucking comedy club in there. They should have a 2-drink minimum.
You better believe that if one of us said the “F” word in front of a judge, we’d be FUCKED in more ways than one.
Judge Mr. Clean obviously wasn’t that offended by DMX’s bomb. TMZ reports that today DMX’s lawyer worked out a deal with the judge: time served and a $483 fine. DMX faced up to six years for trying to buy cokey and weed. This is in Florida. DMX still have ten million charges in Arizona. Arizona has 15 days to come and get him or he’ll be a free man until he gets arrested again. Which will probably be about an hour after he’s released.
And since DMX is always in a court room, can they please put him in front of Judge Judy just once. Just once! That’s all it would take.