John Mayer’s one true love is the paparazzi. If he could, he would have their babies. Woopsie. I shouldn’t have said that. Now dozens of paps are going to receive scribbled death threats on tear-soaked paper from “you know who.” Now that John and “you know who” have ended their magical romance, the paps have moved on. They just aren’t that into him anymore.
A source told MSNBC’s The Scoop that John has been tipping off the paps to his whereabouts but they can’t be bothered. The source said, “He thinks he’s famous as Jen now. Last week he went to a party, tipped off the paps, and even had decoy cars at the ready when he was leaving. Nice, but no one bothered to follow them, which made John think he ‘lost’ everyone, when really no one bothered to follow him.”
One pap said it’s all about money. An exclusive picture of Mayer and Aniston sold for around $20,000. A picture of Mayer by himself only gets $200 from a magazine.
Poor John. He’s going to have to work hard to get their love back. He’ll have to write a song for them, send them flowers and text them all day long with “I MISS U.” In other news, Jennifer Aniston has just become a member of the paparazzi. “Maybe he’ll love me back if I take his picture?!!!!”