Shauna Sand Is Magic

August 25, 2008 / Posted by:

Sand floating on sand! Only the Empress of Lucite has the power to walk on sand in exquisite lucite heels. Notice how the people around her are in awe of her powers (not really, but go with me on this one)? I’m sure she can walk on water with them too. With exquisite lucite heels on her feet, she can do anything!

The always elegant Shauna Sand brought a whole lot of glamour and beauty to the beaches of Miami this past weekend. I’m sure the emergency rooms were filled with peons who went into cardiac arrest from being that close to Shauna’s extreme elegance. Even the dolphins in the ocean bowed before her. Shit, even the sharks curtsied. If you look close enough you can see the crabs in her precious oyster the sand crying because they are in the presence of greatness.

Seriously, her daughter is the luckiest little girl in the world. Even Shiloh Jolie-Pitt jealous.

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