I can’t keep up with Cameron Diaz. She’s like Kate Hudson to me. I have no idea who she’s bumping fuglies with at the moment. Well, I guess she’s still doing sexy times with Jennifer Aniston’s ex, Paul Sculfor. Page Six reports that the two were spotted being all slutty and shit at the Four Seasons in the Maldives.
A source said, “They snorkeled, kayaked, and she ate like a horse.” I think the source meant to say that she “ate like a whore.” How do whores eat exactly? Well, we don’t use utensils and we moan a lot while shoving food down our deep throats.
Anyskanky, the source also said Pizza Face Diaz wore a “chunky ring on her left ring finger.” This is not what you think! It’s not an engagement ring! Kate Hudson has the same ring. It’s a “slut ring” with a special alarm on it to alert you when you’ve been with a dude too long. It’s going to go off any minute. Then Cameron will start dating Lance Armstrong and Kate will start dating Paul. It’s inevitable.