But Is Her Juicy Ass Okay?

Kim KardASSIAN was rushed to the hospital last night after she sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table in her NYC hotel room. You know she got on top of the coffee table to shake her fat ass for a bunch of dudes. She can’t help it. She’s a hoochie. She sees a table and she automatically gets on top of it to drop her booty. A source told TMZ that there was “so much blood, it looked like a murder scene.”

And when she cut her foot, Kim probably shouted, “Quick! Somebody piss on it!” I kid. I’m sure Kim will live to see today. This world needs her! Who else is going to stick their fat ass out on the red carpet? Well, there’s JLo….and Delishis….and Beyonce….but that’s not the point! They don’t do it as shamelessly as Kim.

Kim is also expected to be one of the dumb sluts on “Dancing with the Has-Beens.” The full cast will be announced this morning, but it’s not known whether or not she’ll be able to participate now that her foot is fucked up.

Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll still see Kim’s shelf ass do the tango. It’s going to look like a dozen alley cats fighting under a deflated hot air balloon. Kim will find a way to go on! Where there’s a fame whore, there’s a way.