Will Fight For Fame

August 23, 2008 / Posted by:

Are you effing kidding me? Celebrity boxing is so 2002.

OK! Magazine claims Michael Lohan intends to challenge K-Fed to a boxing match. Michael tells OK! “Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I. It’s for charity.”

Why did it have to be a boxing match? Why couldn’t it have been who has the beadiest eyes match? Or who can fuck their family member out of the most money match. Or who has the worst shit eating grin match. Hell, make a sport of it, best two out of three.

Michael goes on to say “It’s serious boxing. You have to go get a trainer. I have to register with the Mature Boxing Association.”

C’mon who are you trying to kid, we both know you two are a bunch of pussies. You couldn’t box your way out of a paper bag, even if you had an ice pick. I swear to god, if I have to see another has-been celebrity boxing match I’m gonna kick both their asses myself. Let’s be real though. They would raise a fist at me and I would run off screaming like Gay Al getting double fisted with no lube.

Remember Vanilla Ice and Todd Bridges? Yeah, old ‘nilla got his ass owned. But this fight wouldn’t have a clear winner, it would be like watching slow douchebags fighting over an old bus schedule.

Besides, didn’t two fuckers get into legal trouble for video taping bum fights? If K-Fed fights as well has he raps (or wrestles), he’s gonna get murdered.

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