Ninja Vigilantes Busted In New Jersey

August 22, 2008 / Posted by:

The streets of Clifton, NJ are a little less safe today after cops arrested two vigilante ninjas who were trying to rid the area of drugs dealers. Cops found Tadieusz Tertkiewicz, 20, and Jesse Trojaniak, 19, sitting in their car, dressed like ninjas. The Detective Captain said they were “wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows.” I’m sure all their weapons were plastic and can be found at your local Toys ‘R Us.

The sad pair told cops they are known on the streets as The Shinobi Warriors. They were on their way to deliver menacing letters to drug dealers. One of the letters said that the “Shinobi will stop your cruel and sadistic intentions with justified yet, merciful force” and accused dealers and junkies of committing “sins of passing impurity.” It’s not known how many letters were left on the doors of drug dealers and users. The dudes said that if they were ever confronted by a dealer, they would use their awesome martial arts skills and weapons on them!

Oh and one of those threatening letters was delivered to Tadieusz’s ex-girlfriend. A nerd with a broken heart is sad thing.

They were both charged with weapons possession. Tadieusz was also charged with harassment. He’s still in jail on $20,000 bail. Jesse was released.

First of all, what do you expect from a dude who has a Vanilla Ice haircut. Second of all, this is exactly why video game nerds should never leave their parents’ basement. There’s a reason why they spend the rest of their lives playing video games, eating Hot Pockets and getting yelled at by their mom for leaving chunky skid mark stains on their chonies. When they enter the wild, shit like this happens!


Thanks Marcia

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