Dolphin Sluts

August 22, 2008 / Posted by:

I think we’re the only skanks who haven’t been romantically linked to the new God of the Sea, Michael Phelps. Oh yeah, haven’t you heard? Phelps dethroned Poseidon.

Phelps has already been linked to model Lily Donaldson and Amanda “ewwww” Beard. They both denied ever dating him. Now Page Six claims Phelps was spotted sticking his little dolphin tongue down the throat of Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice. Some nosy bitch said they were making out on Monday night outside of the Olympic Village in Beijing.

Stephanie barely broke up with her swimmer boyfriend Eamon Sullivan. Eamon is reportedly “cut up” over the split. Well, I’ll happily help Eamon put the pieces back together…into my no-no hole.

Phelps wouldn’t comment on the rumors and has already said that his private life is private. That’s fine, but can he please make his private PARTS public. That’s all I really care about.

I have a feeling every girl in the world will be “spotted” sucking butterface with Phelps. Shit. I’d glue my eyes shut to make out with him.

Do you think that when he cums he makes dolphin cackles? And he totally cums pure chlorine.

Here’s some extra douchey pictures of Stephanie from her Facebook page.

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