Babies Are Taking Over The Planet
I’m seriously considering a permanent move to Mars. You all can stay and drown in dirty diapers, mashed carrot slobber and green wet caca. Eff global warming! Babies are the real threat!
Sporty Spice aka Melanie C has announced she’s knocked up with her first child. The 34-year-old is expecting a new member of the baby army with her boyfriend of six years Thomas Starr. Uh..huh…The second I read Sporty was with child, I thought “TURKEY BASTER BABY!” The word “lesbionic” was invented for her.
Sporty announced on her website, “Some happy news. Well, I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy. As I’m sure you’ll understand we needed time to wait for results and tell our families. I will be taking it easy but am also excited to start writing for the fifth album. I will need to take some time off to be a mum but, before you know it, we’ll be back.”
Sporty is the last of the Spice Girls to have a baby. They all have them. Color me fucking old. The other Spice Babies are:
Posh – Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz
Scary: Phoenix Chi and Angel Iris
Ginger: Bluebell Madonna
Baby: Beau Lee
Hopefully Sporty keeps the Spice tradition of giving her baby a messed up name. I’m thinking Footballer Latte Queens. That has a nice ring to it.