Beer Whore

August 20, 2008 / Posted by:

Beer-loving tranny alert! Since Jessica Simpson is so fucking country now, she’s decided to be the spokeswhore for a Dallas-based beer called Stampede Light Plus. By the looks of their ad, Stampede is trying to cater to country tranny porn stars with swollen pussy lips. FUG!

Not only will the big-tittied frog appear in ads for the beer, but she will also take 15% stake in the company. Oh, Stampede Light just fucked up by announcing that little tidbit of info. It that doesn’t scream “Boycott Stampede Light,” I don’t know what does.

Stampede Light is apparently filled with vitamins to support an active lifestyle. Beer with vitamins? No fucking thanks. I’ll stick with getting my daily dose of vitamins from a glass of Sunny D, thank you very much.

Jessica released a statement, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t write this shit. As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people. Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while.” Diversify her portfolio? She can’t even say portfolio.

I wish someone would stampede all over that bitch’s face. And no, I don’t mean you Papa Joe. Pull your pants up.

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