Jemaine Clement Is Off The Market

August 19, 2008 / Posted by:

I have terrible news. Jemaine Clement from “Flight of the Concordsgot married. And it wasn’t to you. Or me. He married some raggedy skank who goes by the name of Miranda Manasiadis. I’m sure she’s a lovely lady with a vagina like a spring tulip, but she’ll always be a homewrecking cunt to me.

Jemaine has taken a break from writing the series to marry the tramp in a small registry office in Los Angeles. 34-year-old Jemaine has been called one of Wellington’s most eligible bachelors. Not anymore!

Even though she’s now on my shit list, I have a little advice for Miranda Manasiadis. Keep your new husband away from Sienna Miller! Her vagina alarm just went off, letting her know that there’s a married man in her midst. If Sienna comes around, throw holy water on her!

Here’s a clip featuring Jemaine’s “rudest” moments. Before I die, I want Jemaine to say to me just once, “Shut up, Michael.” Just once.

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