Kate Hudson Needs To Take A Breather
I really should have titled this is “Kate Hudson’s Vagina Needs To Take A Breather.” Seriously, it’s working overtime!
Kate has basically effed her way through most of Hollywood and NYC, so it’s no surprise that she’s going in for seconds. A source told Star Magazine that Kate has been burning up Owen Wilson’s cell phone. Bitch wants a boot-ay call.
The source said, “He was frosty at first. He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her.” Owen’s friends are afraid that he’s going to fall for her again! Vaginamatized! “It’s not fair to Owen, because he really cares for her and ends up getting hurt,” said the source.
Honestly, I’m more worried for Kate Hudson’s vagina than I am for Owen’s soul. Her vagina seriously needs to tour the vineyards of Napa, take a yoga class, read poetry or anything else that will calm it down. It’s been working it to the pelvic bone.
I’m afraid that the next headline I read about Kate Hudson will be: “Kate Hudson’s Vagina Checks Into Cedars-Sinai for Exhaustion.”