Guy Ritchie Earns His Keep

August 18, 2008 / Posted by:

First of all, that bodyguard type is kind of hot. If I ever needed a bodyguard, I would scout the local modeling agencies. Who cares if he would scream like Gay Al getting double-dicked when someone tries to attack you! If they look hot while doing so, it doesn’t matter.

Anyroidy, it was business as usual on Saturday night for Vadge and Guy. What I meant by that is they kept the charade known as their marriage going for Vadge’s 50th birthday celebration.

Guy threw Vadge a birthday party in London and even used his acting skills to give a lovely speech! The Sun reports that he told the crowd, “She looks better now than she ever has done. I’m so proud. I love her so much.” You know Vadge was pinching his no-ball area throughout the speech as a warning not to fuck up. And a pinch from Vadge is like a fucking bear’s bite.

Here’s more of Vadge looking liked a retired male Russian gymnast in Salvation Army lingerie while leaving her birthday party on Saturday night. Even though her vagina was probably exhausted from partying the night away, she still managed to work out the next day. The same way I’m addicted to Cakesters and HGTV, she’s addicted to working out. Here’s another reason why I don’t need to work out. Vadge is doing it for me.

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