The Troll Is Going Broke?

August 14, 2008 / Posted by:

Mary-Kate Olsen must be cackling at the rumors that she’s “burning through her cash.” The Olsens are probably the richest trolls in the world, raking in $40 million total each year. Shit, the Travelocity gnome even makes less than that.

Maybe the source meant that she’s literally “burning her cash” because she’s so fucking rich. There’s just not enough room in her tree trunk anymore. The talking wolves who guard her riches told her that some of her cash needs to go. They just can’t keep up.

The source told UsWeekly (via MSNBC) that the troll is spending her money on everything. Her people have told her to cut down on “travel, jewelry, clothes and especially security.” They forgot to add cocaine. Oh shit. I didn’t mean that. I meant to say limited-edition Troll dolls.

If the troll is going broke, then I’m going celibate.

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