It’s Worse Than Awful

I interrupt your regularly scheduled program of bitching and moaning to…..well…to bitch and moan some more. I’ve been trying to fight off this horror show of a cold for a few days now. My sister told me to get this shit called Buckley’s. She promised me that it works miracles. Well, the bitch must really despise me, because this shit is the ugliest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. And that’s saying a lot.

I figured Buckley’s would taste like every other cough syrup. You know, they all taste like a delicious Lifesaver dipped in formaldehyde. Buckley’s is nothing like that. I can’t explain it. It’s seriously Satan’s sperm. That’s probably the secret ingredient.

Whenever I swallow it, my nipples clench. Not only does it taste like sex club ass, but it’s not pretty on the eyes either. It sort of looks like yellow jizz. It’s like when a dude has to cum and piss at the same time, and it both comes out. Yeah, that’s what it looks like.

I’ve been taking it the past couple of days and still hasn’t fixed shit! The only thing it’s done is improve my gagging reflex slightly. Hmmm….that’s not such a bad thing.

Okay, rant over. And now I’m off to gag on some Buckley’s.